Shattering the Sari Ceiling: A Scalding Hot Tea on India's Glacial Gender Parity in Politics

Shattering the Sari Ceiling: A Scalding Hot Tea on India's Glacial Gender Parity in Politics

I hope you're all sitting down for this one because I'm about to take you on a wild ride through the comically archaic state of women's political representation in India. Fasten your proverbial seatbelts and prepare for some serious turbulence of the sarcastic and mocking variety. We're going full Mehra aunty at the hairdresser's with this scalding hot tea!

But first, a quick primer on just how pathetically behind the times Indian politics is when it comes to uplifting female voices and leaders. Did you know that at the current glacial rate of progress, it will take a whopping 195 YEARS for India to achieve gender parity in political representation? I'll pause while you let that figure sink in...

...Got it? Good. Because I'm just getting warmed up, girlfriends!  

You see, the powers that be in this country are doing a truly spectacular job of keeping Indian politics a totally exclusive good ol' boys club. From vile sexist comments and appallingly low representation to outright physical harassment of female candidates - the misogyny is radiating more heat than a post-menopausal hot flash. 

The attitude seems to be "Why uplift and empower women in politics when we can just objectify and demean them while hogging all the power for ourselves?" And I have to applaud these fellas for their boldness in clinging to such delightfully outdated values straight out of the 12th century! It takes a truly committed regressive to keep those antiquated misogynistic flames burning so bright in the modern age.

Take our old friend Mulayam Singh Yadav of the Samajwadi Party, for instance. A few years back this bigwig pioneering feminist was kind enough to bless us all with his galaxy-brain views on women in politics. Warning: you may want to find the nearest dustbin to spit out while reading this scorching hot take.

When asked about women participating in protests and risking police violence, our learned sage proclaimed, and I quote: "By protesting and getting beaten up by police, they're only demeaning themselves. They should not participate in such struggles."

Well, there you have it babes! No more of that unseemly protesting nonsense - it's just not ladylike. A true modern Indian woman should focus on what matters: sitting pretty, keeping her mouth zipped, and letting the big strong men handle the icky responsibilities of political activism and police brutality. Sorry not sorry for the hot flashes of rage you may be experiencing right now!

But don't you worry, it's not just Mulayam-ji's Samajwadi Party dishing out the rich seams of mock worthy content. The dedication to undermining women's political empowerment knows no party lines in this gloriously regressive nation of ours!

Take the ruling BJP, for example - you know, those mavericks who are really pushing the envelope and shattering glass ceilings left and right with their ultra-progressive policies on gender equality! I'm sure you all remember when the Women's Reservation Bill came around over a decade ago, seeking to reserve 33% of parliamentary seats for women. What stalwart supporters of female political representation our BJP heroes were in that historic moment!

...Is what I would say if I were a dyed-in-the-wool fabulist. In reality, the BJP and its top leadership vehemently opposed the bill and worked tirelessly to reject this meagre semblance of political equality for women. One esteemed BJP leader even trotted out the laughable claim that gender quotas would "only perpetuate the myth that women require support systems and are being unable to make it on their own."

I have to hand it to these guys - that's some Olympic-level mental gymnastics to somehow twist and distort gender quotas promoting democratic representation into some sort of misguided insult about women's self-sufficiency. Bravo sirs, you deserve a slow clap and a large gold medal in bad faith arguing! Though it pains me to say it, that level of backward hogwash does make for some premium-grade blog mockery material.

Of course, we can't let the grand old party of the INC off the hook either. These standard-bearers of secular liberal values have their own rich history of squandering opportunities to meaningfully elevate women's political standing in India when it actually mattered. 

When the Women's Reservation Bill first graced parliament in the 90s, the INC did make a show of supporting the legislation...right up until they realized it might jeopardize their male-dominated power structures. Then support quietly evaporated and the bill was left to wither on the vine. But at least we got some heartwarming lip service about progressivism and equality out of the deal! Thoughts and prayers, amirite ladies??

Speaking of half-baked, deeply unimpressive efforts at uplifting Indian women in politics, I have to give a shoutout to some of the utterly batty "solutions" that have been proposed over the years to increase female representation. These had me howling with a lethal cocktail of amusement and sheer disbelief!

My personal favourite might just be the genius idea of allowing women to "lend" their married status to another woman so she can run for elected office without provoking too much pearl-clutching over her marital status. It's basically "She's Married to the Cause...Adjacent" - a bold step into the 19th century if I've ever seen one! 

But why stop there when you can really lean into the tired tropes about women requiring male permission and supervision to participate in the public sphere? I humbly submit that every female political candidate be required to have a male chaperone who approves her policy platforms, nodding vacantly whenever she speaks. He can gently pat her on the head after she says something intelligent, and quickly silence or cover her up if she gets too uppity or outspoken in front of strangers. Every misogynistic dinosaur's dream, am I right??

All sarcasm and snark aside, there is of course nothing even remotely amusing about the systemic barriers, discrimination, and rampant sexism that Indian women face when trying to enter the arena of electoral politics. From regressive cultural attitudes and societal biases to the outright hostility, harassment, stalking, and violence that female candidates endure - the obstacles are disturbingly vast and still deeply entrenched.

At every turn, talented and qualified women are passed over, overlooked, or barred entirely from having an equal voice and stake in their own democratic political futures. And this isn't just an abstract issue of representation for its own sake. Women's political empowerment is a fundamental human right AND an indispensable component of any healthy, inclusive, properly functioning democracy.

When half the population is shut out of the decision-making process, you can be certain that their voices, experiences, and policy priorities are going to get drowned out or deprioritized entirely. Core issues that disproportionately impact women - from reproductive rights and workplace discrimination to gender-based violence - often get backhanded or simply ignored under patriarchal regimes.

Not only that, but without women serving as elected leaders, legislators, and political role models, it only perpetuates the vicious cycle of disempowerment from a very young age. How can young girls dream of growing up to become leaders in their own right if they never see themselves represented in the halls of power?

On a societal level, tilting the balance back toward greater political inclusion and empowerment for Indian women would pay immense dividends. Studies consistently show that countries with higher rates of female political leadership tend to be more prosperous, with better qualities of life and governance across the board. The impacts ripple out in areas like sustainable development, health, education, and so much more.

Clearly, dismantling the granite walls of institutionalized gender discrimination in Indian politics is going to require a seismic shift in attitudes and political will. From enforceable candidate quotas to comprehensive campaign finance reforms that level the playing field, to codifying harsh consequences for the harassment and violence toward female politicians - the solutions are all out there. What's missing is a genuine, sustained commitment from political power brokers to actually implement them in good faith.

It's an uphill battle to be sure, fought inch-by-bloody-inch against the deeply entrenched forces of patriarchy, misogyny, and regressive. But it's also a righteous struggle that the brave women of India's political vanguards have been waging for generations, often at immense personal cost and sacrifice. These are the true heroes who deserve our admiration and support - the trailblazers who keep chipping away at those stubborn walls of injustice through their sheer force of will and revolutionary spirits.

So here's to them, and to the millions of Indian women and girls who dare to dream !

-Bhumika Pandey